Give Yourself a Break - Kim Fredrickson

This book's tagline is "Turning Your Inner Critic into a Compassionate Friend".  This initially caught my attention as I most definitely have an inner critic, and I saw this book as possibly being a way to help overcome negative and self-disparaging thoughts.

In the beginning, I appreciated that this book was written from a Christian perspective.  However, I feel that that perspective is skewed.  Had it been written secularly, it would have made more sense to me.  Essentially, this book encourages you to be your own best friend.  Biblically, I believe that teaching us that Jesus must be our best friend is much more correct.  By understanding what God thinks about you as a person, and choosing to believe that, will be more accurate than deciding to think highly of ourselves.  In addition, she quotes several Bible verses, then proceeds to pull them out of context.  In one of the final chapters, she refers to her husband as a "Bible scholar", so I am a bit surprised at how inaccurate her interpretations of most verses quoted seems to be.  

As a few examples, she opens the first chapter with Matthew 14:14 - "When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, He had compassion on them and healed their sick."  She goes on to talk about how this must be applied toward us thinking about ourselves: "..."I'd like to develop a compassionate relationship with myself..."  Chapter 2 includes Psalm 46:1 - "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."  She follow it with this: "Imagine how different your internal world will be when you are able to join with God in being a present help to yourself in times of trouble." In chapter 8, she quotes a very tiny portion of a verse in KJV: "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he." (Prov. 23:7)  She then moves on to discuss how we relate and talk to ourselves as being important.  While I don't necessarily disagree, this verse has nothing to do with her point.  Here are verses 6-7 for context: "Eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil eye, neither desire thou his dainty meats: For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee."  

The 2nd chapter "A Look Inside", I found actually quite beneficial in regards to raising children.  It is talked about in the perspective of us looking backwards at our own childhoods (and seeing what issues may have led to our view of ourselves), but I found it more helpful as I have 1 toddler and a baby on the way.  It has a section discussing "Our Emotional and Relational Needs" (eye contact, physical touch, focused attention, validation with empathy, etc.).  

At the end of each chapter, she has a "Concluding Reflections" section, which discusses ways in which to put the chapter into use in your life.  Some of these are good ideas "What was your response as you read about our tendency to fall into narcissism or self-contempt when faces with our mistakes?  Where do you see yourself in this dilemma?" (Chapter 2), but then I felt that it got into some rather bizarre self-meditation exercises in a number of instances.  Here are some examples: "Try a moment of kindness toward yourself: a. Gently place your hand comfortably over your heart. b. Take a few gentle breaths as you welcome a moment of calm into your life. c. Notice this kind connection with yourself, and say some words that are soothing to you, such as: "I can learn to be kind to myself.  It is okay for me to be human with faults and strengths.  God sees me with kindness and compassion, and I can too." e. Repeat this gentle action daily as you build this kindness and compassion with yourself one moment at a time. (Chapter 3).  "Try a compassion moment...remember a time in your life where you were cared for in a meaningful way...allow yourself to picture this situation: where you are, what you are wearing...notice how it felt in your body and your soul.  Breathe deeply as you experience taking in the good thoughts, feelings, images, and body sensations..." (Chapter 6).  

As a whole, I would not recommend this book.  I do agree that we need to speak truth to ourselves, in either direction.  I do not agree that I must become my own best friend (I believe that as a Christian, that's a place that only Christ should hold).  I do feel that I was able to glean some good information and tips from it, and I may use it as a reference personally instead of throwing it away.  
I received this book free from Revell Reads (Baker Publishing Group) in exchange for an honest review.